Just really need some feedback for once?

Ive bottled this up inside of me for a long long time and now just need to get it all out. I want to know if anyone else feels this way. I constantly feel hate for everyone around me besides my close family, my mother father and brother and sister, and also my best friend. Besides that i always feel hate for people and could care less what happens to them. I am either hateful towards others, or I am extremely depressed it is a mixture of the two. I hate others mostly because i have realized that in this life people care only about themselves for the most part, so i kind of gave up on love and charity also. I am seldom happy. I have lost my religion in which i used to trust in. I feel none of my previous morals are here to guide me, crime dosent bother me anymore, ive strongly considered joining an Irish mob my friend has connections to. I also have been very close to suicide before. I feel it would be better if i just wrote a nice long note explaining this all to my friends and family, and then going out in the woods one day and just ending all this ****. I dont consider myself to be ugly whatsoever, women have offered to sleep with me before, im not fat, so the normal **** isnt the problem. I live a normal life, my parents treat me more than well. Everyone else however dosent take to kindly to me. I just really dont know wtf is wrong with me anymore. Im 17 years old, its depressing just thinking of killing myself at this age. I smoke and drink alot more than i used to, it helps. I was depressed even more before the cigarettes and booze so please dont try and blame that. I listen to depressing music alot because i can relate to it, if that makes any sense. I really dont know what else to say i would appreciate some feedback from people though, thank you.