I was molested and Im terribly confused.?

I was molested as a child and developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and created a very dependent personality. I had my first love in 7th grade and after it ended, I was heart broken and my anger erupted at everyone. Depression hit me and I dated guy after guy, looking for "love". I thought I was in love with every guy, in all reality I was infatuated. I had this small attraction towards girls but it was a small thing. I kept dating guys and I was very traumatized with pain, being hurt by everyone one of them. My OCD subsided a bit after I decided to break up with guys. I didn't want them but couldn't let go after the infatuation died. An addiction? Now I am in 11th grade, I finally met this guy, C, who loves me, respects me. I didn't want him at first bc I wasn't attracted to him but after maintaining a friendship, I grew warm feelings for him. Now, we have a VERY STRONG emotional connection. Thing is, I am not attracted to him physically (ually, emotionally yes). But I am unsure